The Rope

Right now I'm trying to make sense of life. I'm trying to suck in all the good things about my kids, savor them, and store them in my memory bank. I'm trying not to take anything they say or do for granted.

The other night we were all lying on the family room floor watching a movie and during it, it hit me that I was so blessed. I began thinking of J and how he's 11 years old and by the time K is his age, he'll be in college. He'll be an adult. And that's hard for me to think about because I remember when he was 2 1/2 and life truly has flown past.

The delicate balance of wanting your kids to grow up and at the same time, feeling emotional about it was driven home even harder this weekend with the situation of a family we know. Their 15 year old son is very ill. He had leukemia and is in remission, but his body has just been weakened by viruses and infections and right now, he's not doing so well. It is heartbreaking for his family, and for our community because we all want so desperately for him to be well. We all want to see him be a regular teenager with homework complaints, playing baseball, hanging out with his friends being goofy, navigating the bizarre world of dating.

It's situations like these that give me a slap in the face and make me stop and realize that I'm so, so, so, so blessed. My children are healthy. My problems with a messy house, lots of laundry, a harried schedule, and never feeling like I have a minute to myself are because of them. If I didn't have them, my house would be clean. If I didn't have them, I'd only have laundry for two people. If I didn't have them, life would go at a more leisurely pace and I'd have time to do whatever I wanted. However, I'd never trade them for all the money in the world. I love my life and I thank God every day for it. Life is a rope that we've all been given and when it starts to unravel, then it's really hard to hang on. I'm very thankful for my rope. Today my prayers are ones of gratitude and prayers for a 15 year old boy in the hospital who wants so desperately to live a long life.